So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
