Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
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