I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
