i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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