Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
