Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
