doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
