he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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