drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
