At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
