Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
