How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
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