Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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