We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Randomize
