I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
