Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Randomize
