dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
We got so high we made milksteak
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
