Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
