I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
