I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
