we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Randomize
