It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
