This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
