Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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