i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
