so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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