im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
