he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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