Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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