I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
