mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
