I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
