Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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