Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
