we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
