yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize