i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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