he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
