Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
