What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
