How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
