You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
