oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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