Barsexuality is the new black.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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