We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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