ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
