we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
