i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
