No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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