Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
