he wants to bone in the snuggie
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
