i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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