she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
