So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
We just shotgunned beers for America
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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