I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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